PRT's Guide to Sailing Through Security Check Points

We all despise long security checks and with the new scanners presenting a serious privacy concern, things are worse than ever. Unfortunately, nothing clogs up security check points like punk paraphernalia. Luckily there are some things that can be done to move it along in the least invasive way possible (unless you're looking for a good fondle, in which case that's your prerogative.)

First off, there's really no need to parade through the airport dressed like a rock star. Unless you're hunted by the paparazzi or have a special someone waiting on the other end of your flight, nobody is particularly concerned with their fellow passenger's impeccable taste in bondage trousers. The key is to dress comfortably anyway, especially if you've got a long international voyage ahead of you.

1. Don't wear your 20 hole steel toe Docs on the flight. Tuck them away in your luggage instead. Your fellow passengers are going to loathe you for taking ages to undo your laces to put the things on the belt and given that feet swell while in flight, you're guaranteed to want to ditch them first thing anyway. Most comfy shoes for a flight? Good ol' Chuck Taylors. They are easy to unlace to adjust to a comfortable fit while in flight and still remain functional. Have your shoes unlaced while you're still in line and be ready to go.

2. Do wear your skinny jeans. Go with something form fitting if possible. I have seen a marked difference in pat-down/scanner ratios with form fitting vs. cargo style baggy stuff. Same goes with gigantic t-shirts. Make life easy on yourself. Also be prepared to remove jackets, sweaters and hoodies.

3. Don't wear your studded belts and jewelry through security. If you can, take out piercings, how ever momentarily. I understand it's not always possible, but I'd rather take out my earrings than use the body scanner. Remember, excessive zippers can also set off the metal detector.

4. Do be cooperative but don't give in. Remember, if you're still asked to use the body scanner and that doesn't sit well with you, you can 'opt out'. Opting out is no fun either, I've been there. It is extremely invasive and I'm not saying this is a fantastic option either. The best thing to do is keep your sense of humor in a craptastic situation and this is no exception. Just try not to enjoy your pat-down too much, although I haven't heard of this happening yet, they might deem you too pervy for the plane.

5. Remember the fluid rules for carry on. Keep anything even vaguely resembling a weapon at home. Mace spray included. See the following if you're unclear: http://www.tsa.gov/311/

6. Be prepared ahead of time to place all of your electronics in the bins. Keep anything that will need to get scanned in a general location in your bag. After you're through security you can adjust as needed. This keeps the line moving. Things you need to scan are: Laptops, iPads, e-readers, cell phones, mp3 players, pda's.

Keep the above in mind and your trip through security checkpoints can be painless. I have yet to use the full body scanner and I have only been subjected to a pat-down once since the new regulations kicked in, when I forgot the skinny jeans rule. If you follow the suggestions above, you're more likely to get waived on through after your standard metal detector screening and be well on your way to the gate while your friends are still removing their Docs and receiving eye rolls from less than impressed fellow travelers. You may not care, but remember, you may end up sharing very cramped quarters for hours with any one of those people you just pissed off.

Photo cred: Flickr Billypalooza (creative commons)
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America's Most Vegan/Veggie-Friendly Airport

Anyone with dietary limitations knows that travel presents a serious challenge. If the airline messes up your special meal request or you find yourself stuck a little longer than can be desired at the airport, things can get a bit sticky.

My vote for most Vegan-Friendly Airport goes to Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport (MSP), believe it or not. Why? Not only do they have several of your run of the mill options available, from Starbucks to Einstein Bros. Bagels to California Pizza Kitchen but they have the shining beacon of Veggie Airport Nosh: The French Meadow Bakery Cafe.

You might recognize this name if you shop at Whole Foods. They provide WF with some of their gluten-free product. But, in Minneapolis, they also have restaurants that serve several amazing vegan and vegetarian options. Seriously, when's the last time you dined on a fully vegan ruben while your flight was delayed? Vegan chicken thai soup anyone? Prices are reasonable considering it's airport fare.

Even for the carnivores, they have free range organic meals. They also serve organic wines and alcohol at their bar. Enough said!

Also available is The Harvest Market, which carries some of the French Meadow's items in stock. If Starbucks gets you down, try Midwest favorite Caribou Coffee, which was been striving to meet ethical standards for some time, and brags about it quite a bit (click the link to find out more). They work with Rainforest Alliance to make sure that they're not destroying Java to give you a cup of java.

Since MSP is a hub for some airlines like Delta/Northwest, Sun Country and Iceland Air, you might just find yourself stuck there in a MN snowstorm. You'll be slightly more comfortable knowing you can get some decent eats.

Got another airport you'd like to nominate? I'd love to hear about it in the comments. I'm still “in the air” regarding European airports (har de har har)...so lend me your ideas!

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